I don't feel comfortable worshiping ideas. The vast, vast majority of religions are based on this (the idea of someone who lived a long time ago, the idea of some being living up in the sky, the idea of nothingness, the idea of sprites and fairies living secretly amoung us, etc, etc, etc), and I don't like it. It feels willfully delusional to me. I've spent a lot of time and effort getting away from harmful delusions, so to me it just seems ridiculous and fool-hardy to go and foster delusions on purpose.

But I did feel as though I had a genuine and healthy spiritual experience today. I had a long, very active day yesterday, and didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night, so today I feel really run down, almost to the point where I suspect I'm getting a cold. By the time my last class came around, all I wanted to do was go home and sleep. Unfortunately, I had another appointment on campus right after class, so I opted for sleeping on a park bench instead. I couldn't sleep on the bench, because it turns out there were termites living in it, slowly wittling it away, and chewing exceptionally loudly, so I laid down on the ground instead.

I don't know where the idea came from, but right when I laid down I decided that I should do some simple yoga postures instead. So I did so. There on the earth, I stretched my body, breathing deeply and regularly, paying close attention to the internal feeling of my muscles, organs, bones, and skin. I became very aware of the ground beneath me, the cool air that I was breathing, the glowing blue sky above me, and the trees all around me. I felt very connected to all of it, very safe, and a part of something much larger than myself, whose complexity, beauty, and basic existance were ultimately beyond my full understanding. It was, as far as I was concerned, a spiritual experience. And it was real. All the objects were right in front of me, all around me. I could see them and feel them. It was not delusional.

And I don't believe that I was imposing some sort of false meaning onto the objects around me either. I am, and we all are, intimately connected to nature, because we are nature, at least on the level of the body and the parts of our awareness that are governed by the brain. Whether or not there is more to who we are than the physical is not a question I am focusing on right now. Regardless of what the answer to that question might be, we are all still profoundly and intimately connected to the physical world, whether or not we recognize it at any given moment.

And my wonder is less based on my understanding of what the nature of nature is, and more based on what I don't know. My own understanding of science, and the vast amounts of knowledge that the science community in general has amassed, still comes far, far short of any true understanding of the world around us. Our five senses and of the capacity of our minds, no matter how keen and active, are still so limited in what they can understand. The world is basically beyond us (and no, I don't take this as a reason to quit trying to understand; if anything, it makes me want to learn even more).

So...maybe what I'm writing here is missing something, but the experience I had today felt like the most positive, healthy spiritual experience I've ever had. I'm thinking that I'll probably try to incorporate a little bit of outdoor yoga into my daily schedule more often now, hopefully two or three times a week.