Confusion. Uncertainty.

I believe that I am not having enough fun in my life. My life is not enough fun. I'm too concerned with facts, and not concerned enough with pleasures. For me the greatest pleasure is found through interacting with people, yet I am too alienated from the people around me to really get much meaningful interaction with them. This is nothing new. I've had this problem for years. Partially this is due to me being a homosexual, and thus I have a rather tense relationship with society; but a more important factor is my upbringing. I was, in effect, raised by hermits, who taught me nothing about how to interact socially, and in fact taught me to isolate myself. I've never wanted that, never wanted to be isolated, but I don't really know how to do anything else. I would like to believe that all my problems would be solved if I were straight, but a look at my Lousianian sister tells a different story.

I'm not about to become Mr. Hyper-Social any time soon, but it would be nice if things would just get a little bit easier.