Dreams Recurring

I am a 26 year old college student at Ohio State University (OSU). I am male, white, homosexual. If you want to know anything else, you'll just have to read the blog itself. The title comes from an old Husker Du song, though I did change it slightly. **ATTENTION** some of the entries in this blog contain sexually explicit material.

Name:
Location: Columbus, Ohio, United States

Please read my blog, because, unlike most of the people on here, I really do keep up on it. It's not very stylish, my blog, but I do take it at least semi-seriously, and post regularly. Surely such perseverence and loyalty is worth something?

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Some Hope, Some Blandness

I guess I'm kind of depressed today. I'm not getting much pleasure out of life. I mean, I am getting some pleasure, just not very much. I think, though, that it is a good indication that my medication (I'm going to stop calling it my drug) is working, because usually when I get like this the pain of studying and getting things done is just too great to bear, and I have to go do something that's a whole lot funner; but now the pain is just very slight; certainly not strong enough to make me stop doing the things that I know I need to do. So it's all right. It's interesting, and that in itself is kind of fun, so it's really all right.

I'm thinking of taking the daring move of switching my major to Actuary Science. I had my fun (such as it was) with working on the English major, but now I'm over it and I want to do something real. By switching my major it should take me an extra year to get done, and so that will cost more money; but it seems that if you get a degree in Actuary Science you're almost gauranteed to get a job starting out around 40k a year, as long as you've passed the first two tests. Then, they'll give you lots of paid time off to study up for the rest of the tests (there's 10 in all, I believe), which will increase your skills, and usually lead to a little promotion. All in all, they say it takes about as much effort and commitment to pass all the tests as it takes to go through medical school, except you're getting paid 40k a year in the process. That's a whole hell of a lot better than any deal I'd get out of my english degree. And it would feel nice to know I have a marketable skill that will keep me secure. I think that building up the extra cost will be worth it.

Maybe this is just a dream. It feels real, and I'm confident that I could do it. But time will tell. There's a whole lot of math involved (which is probably why theres not too many of 'em) so if I keep getting a kick out of the math like I have been then I should be all right. I got a 99/100 on my last Calculus exam, which I'm told is pretty impressive, so...well, we'll see!

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