This sickness is not getting better. There's so much mucus coming out of me, it's amazing. I usually take this abundance of snot as a sign that my body is getting better, but that doesn't seem to be happening.

I have a feeling that it's just not going to get better until I stop smoking again. But I worry so much about the condition of my mind, and how that will change when I get rid of the cigarettes. Well, two friends of mine, independantly of each other, both informed me that there is a class of drugs that act on the mind in a very similar way that the nicotine does. So I made an appointment with a therapist to talk about it. But I wanted to continue smoking until that time. Oh well. I'm even more negatively affected by the health problems associated with cigarettes than I am by the lack of nicotine. Probably I will change my mind once I am missing the nicotine again, and I remember just how bad it is to live without it.