I often find that there are things that I write in e-mails to other people that I want to look back on later, and have as a record of my thoughts and beliefs of that time. So here's a slightly edited version of an e-mail I sent to my friend, The Rambler (a name given with great affection), who lives in Chicago, and who I've yet to meet yet.

I think, myself, that alot of confusing situations become much simpler when I stop trying to understand them. So many things are outside of whatever framework I could imagine, so letting go of the habit of trying to put things into in inadequate framework can make things much easier. I know alot of people have trouble with this, but in my experience, recognizing that there are alot of aspect of a situation that one is simply incapable of understanding can actually bring the aspects that one does understand into clearer, more stable focus, and also bring a deeper level of acceptance and comfort with the situation.

I had one friend who had a big problem with my acceptance of my inherent inability as a human to ever really understand anything, you know, because my sensory equipment is so limited, as is my mental capacities. She thought that I was giving up on life, that the logical conclusion to my statement was that there is no point in trying to understand anything. She's an intellectual-type, and I guess her motivation for continuing to try to understand the world was the idea that someday us humans would reach the end, and understand everything. I don't see how this is even possible, but I also don't see this as any reason to quit thinking and trying to understand the world. So plese don't get me wrong: I'm not trying to suggest that we should all just give up and live in ignorance. What I am saying is that what we don't know and are incapable of knowing is just as important as what we do know when it comes to trying to figure something out; and also that seeing where our knowledge is deficient, and finding out where our limits are, can offer valuable insight into what line of iquiry we could investigate in order to increase what knowledge we can.

Ha Ha. Listen to me go! Yes, I do love arm-chair philosophizing. I have a natural affinty for it, if not any actual skill.

This is something that I also wrote about in a different post, one about doing yoga outside (I can't figure out how to link to it! Help me!), where I pointed out that this uncertainty makes me want to learn more; I have a whole universe to explore, both physically and intellectualy, and even if I only get to see a tiny little fraction of it, I'll still get to experience many amazing and inspiring things.

But in some ways this DOES make me a little complacent: knowing that there is not a final goal, but rather an infinite series of events, each as important as the one before it and after it (or over it, under it, around it, inside it?), makes me feel like there is not much sense of urgency about my life: I'll never get to it all, so I'll just enjoy whatever is in front of me right now. This is good, I think, for overall happiness, but not so much for getting my degree, and getting a good paying job one day.

Bah...too much philosophizing, like too much religion, is going to make me feel strange. I better quit now while I'm ahead.