Wonder, Limitation.

Today, as I was studying outside, lying on the grass in the almost-too-warm sun, I looked up to the bright blue sky, with it's sparse and striking arrangement of isolated wispy clouds, and for a moment I felt my consciousness uplift with the understanding of greater things, and tremble ever-so-slightly at the sublime perception of my relative smallness and unimportance.

A moment later I was aware of the sky as a collection of gases, held close to the earth through a combination of gravitational and magnetic forces. I felt like I understood the sky then (though I'm sure I really did not), and it seemed very ordinary, graspable, and dismissable. I was rather disappointed; yet, at the same time, I was comforted.

I am getting older: the habit of being caught in wonder and amazment is being taken over by the habit of categorizing and limiting the world around me. I've learned enough about the world that I can feel as though I understand it, and I've grown complacent enough that I resist thinking beyond what I know, to more mysterious wonders. While this is less exciting, I believe that it is not a bad thing: it is impractical to always be in a state of excited ignorance, which can be rather disruptive. I have a life to lead, which takes place in a physical setting, not in some abstract nether-realm. I don't know how to put it into words, and I'm not sure that I'm actually right, but I feel as though limiting my consciousness to what I know to be true can make my life a lot easier right now, and will provide pleasures that are more subtle than I'm used to.