I just took a test, on geology. I think I probably did worse on it than I've ever done on a test in my life. I didn't study at'all, 'cause we get to drop the lowest grade of the four tests we take, and I decided before hand that this one would be my lowest.

During the test, I was obsessing over the TA who was administering it (not the TA mentioned in a previous post), checking out his body, and concocting little fantasies about him. Actually, I haven't been sober for a long time. Today was the worst it's been for awhile though. I had sex with a stranger in a public restroom. It was totally unsafe, and I was being overly aggressive and insensitive with the guy (which he really seemed to get off on, but which still made me feel very guilty). Well...I'm not too happy with myself over this. I've stopped going to meetings, because I wasn't getting along with my sponser at all, and was kind of sick of the whole organization, and all the annoying people in it. But I need to start going again. It was really helping me keep my mind focused on sobriety issues, and making me pay attention to my behavior in a conscious, analytical way. So even if I hate them all, and feel incredibly uncomfortable in the environment, I'll still have to go back.