Gimme Gimme Gimme

I am full of hate today, more so than I have been for several months (though not nearly as bad as I was this time last year).

Argh...I must reaffirm to myself that I'm am writing this blog for my own benifit, not for the enjoyment of other people. I can write whatever I want, and not worry about how other people will react. If they don't like it, they can go somewhere else.

Did you ever feel insane? Like, actually insane? I felt like that alot today. It never overtook me completely, but I could feel it at the edges, trying to push it's way in. I blame this damned yellow coat that I have; it's bad enough with all the white snow everywhere, I have to wear this obnoxious coat on top of it.

Actually, I love the white snow. I think what is actually making me insane is the fact that all the students are gone from campus. It's like a ghost town, or a different dimension. I hate going to work every day, 'cause without the students the place seems way too personal. Everyone can see me when I walk by, there is not question of blending in. Thank god I start a new job in a few weeks. Otherwise I could have to cry.

Other than that, there is no real sadness. I don't know why I feel so crazy, hateful, and aggresive. I really don't know. Oh yeah, now I remember; I realized that I was not a perfect person, and that there were a great number of people in the world who didn't want anything to do with me. I knew that before, but I didn't really care. Now I do care, for some reason, and it is really bothering me.