I want a cat. I went over the The Amatuer Musician's house the other day, in the Clintonville area of our town, which is a strange mix of hippies, long-time locals (I feel bad calling them "hicks"), and college kids, and I didn't play with his cat there, because he doesn't have a cat, but I did play with the cat that lives with the couple above him, which wanders in to his apartment when he leaves the door open. It was a fiesty cat, all scratching and panicking at every step, and then sleeping, his arms splayed one way, his legs the other, his sensitive stomach stretched long in the sun.

It was fun to play with him. I missed having my own, and still miss having my own. Having an animal brings a sense of livlieness and activity to a home, so that when one is studying, cleaning, or doing whatever, it feels not so much like one is alone, and more like one is in a public place. It's not so much like having company, but more like there is an overall sense of life around one, that one can consciously ignore, but which informs one experience in more subtle ways.

The Talker would always get defensive when someone, on hearing about his lonliness, would suggest that he get a dog. "I don't need a dog" he's say, "I need a boyfriend." And although he didn't express it in so many words, the impression I got was that he felt that getting a dog would be giving up. Or it would be saying that he's so pathetic that he can't get anyone to love him, so he got an animal to love him instead. And of course when I mention to him that I would like to have a cat, he projects that same mindset onto me. But that's not how I feel; I realize that a cat is not a human, and is not a substitute for one. Nor would I want it to be. There's just something about having a cat that makes a home more pleasant. It's like having plants: it brings life into your home, brings it in all around you, in a non-invasive way. It's like having a steady diet of nutritious, healthy food: it makes you feel a bit better, and energizes you. I wouldn't expect food to take the place of human love, and I wouldn't expect a cat too as well.

The best thing about cats, if you ask me, is their sleeping habits. They're like me: they want to sleep all day, and be active all night. When I did have a cat, my beloved Shama, who nows lives with the man I was dating when I got her, my favorite thing to do with her was sleep. I'd come during the day after my classes, and she'd be curled up on our king, sized bed, just out of the path of the sunshine from the large windows facing the street. I'd collapse on the bed myself, as far from her as comfortably possible so as to not disturb her, and curl myself up too, letting the sunshine lull me away to sleep. Being a fitful sleeper, I'd wake up every few hours, and still do to this day. Normally at this point it is rather difficult to get back to sleep. But when I would open my eyes, and see that Shama was still sleeping so peacefully, breathing so rhythmically, so obviously relaxed and content....Well, it was infectious! I'd be back to sleep in no time.

This is in marked contrast to how I feel when I sleep with another human. Their presense is too stimulating. If I wake up, I immediately start thinking about them, and worrying about them; about what they want from me, if they want me to wake up and interact with them, etc. It's really annoying. A cat doesn't want anything from you, or at least very little. They're much more low-maintenance. It's nice.

Can't happen now though: no pets in my building. Someday, though, when I have more money.