Baby Dream
Last night I dreamt that I had a baby. I've had lots of dreams about having a baby or taking care of a baby, so this dream was pretty normal for me.
Here it is: I wanted to get pregnant, but I couldn't get pregnant, 'cause I'm a guy. I got pregnant anyway. Well, I couldn't get pregnant so I was given a child by someone else. Eventually I had a baby somehow. It was my little brother in the waking world, except he was still a baby, and in waking reality he's actually 17.
I loved my baby, but only sometimes. Which was unfortunate, because there was a risk involved: someone was trying to posses my baby, take away it's eyeballs and it's brain, and use my baby as a mask. They wanted to take out my baby's eyes, just like in one of those paintings that you see in creepy old mansions in mystery shows, where the propriator of the mansion will spy on his guests by replacing the painted eyes with his own. It was just like that, and my baby was to become an automaton, a shell, for use by evil forces. There was a way I could save him though: I had to be constantly telling him that I loved him. This would fill him with his own good essence, and make it impossible for him to be possessed: no emptiness = no room for an alien personality.
I woke up very frightened: the image of my baby's eyes being taken away, and seeing someone elses eyes take their place really creeped me out. I had to wake up and turn on the light. Luckily, I fell right back asleep.
But this dream reminded myself of what I do in reality: I constantly remind myself I love myself, in order to not feel empty, weak, and vulnerable. Lately it hasn't been working so well though...I forgot to do it for awhile, and I'm having a hard time convincing myself that I really do love myself, and that I really am a good person, etc, etc...hence I feel weak and vulnerable.
I can be difficult to talk about dreams sometimes, because often there is more than one version of reality going on at one time. Like in my dream for today, I got pregnant, but couldn't get pregnant at the same time. I both gave birth to the baby and adopted it from someone else. That complicates matters. However, this isn't science or history, so these types of ambiguities, irrationalities, and complications are not a real concern. They just make it more difficult to make myself understood.
Here it is: I wanted to get pregnant, but I couldn't get pregnant, 'cause I'm a guy. I got pregnant anyway. Well, I couldn't get pregnant so I was given a child by someone else. Eventually I had a baby somehow. It was my little brother in the waking world, except he was still a baby, and in waking reality he's actually 17.
I loved my baby, but only sometimes. Which was unfortunate, because there was a risk involved: someone was trying to posses my baby, take away it's eyeballs and it's brain, and use my baby as a mask. They wanted to take out my baby's eyes, just like in one of those paintings that you see in creepy old mansions in mystery shows, where the propriator of the mansion will spy on his guests by replacing the painted eyes with his own. It was just like that, and my baby was to become an automaton, a shell, for use by evil forces. There was a way I could save him though: I had to be constantly telling him that I loved him. This would fill him with his own good essence, and make it impossible for him to be possessed: no emptiness = no room for an alien personality.
I woke up very frightened: the image of my baby's eyes being taken away, and seeing someone elses eyes take their place really creeped me out. I had to wake up and turn on the light. Luckily, I fell right back asleep.
But this dream reminded myself of what I do in reality: I constantly remind myself I love myself, in order to not feel empty, weak, and vulnerable. Lately it hasn't been working so well though...I forgot to do it for awhile, and I'm having a hard time convincing myself that I really do love myself, and that I really am a good person, etc, etc...hence I feel weak and vulnerable.
I can be difficult to talk about dreams sometimes, because often there is more than one version of reality going on at one time. Like in my dream for today, I got pregnant, but couldn't get pregnant at the same time. I both gave birth to the baby and adopted it from someone else. That complicates matters. However, this isn't science or history, so these types of ambiguities, irrationalities, and complications are not a real concern. They just make it more difficult to make myself understood.
posted by nearfalse | 10:02 AM
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