piss, deja vu, relationships
I pissed in a man's mouth today. Not alot, but some. It felt really good, but I don's really see what he gets out of it. Yeah, it felt really good, very relaxing. We're gonna get together to do it again on Monday, and I'm gonna save myself, so that I have alot for him.
After we both came, and we were lying in bed, talking about this and that, I got the strongest sense of premonition, or as though I had dreamed it before. Have you ever had that feeling before? Where you could swear that the thing you are going through was something you've dreamed before? I used to get it all the time, and nowadays I get it...once every few months. I think that I know what causes it: exceptionally busy activity in the subconscious mind. Whatever I'm going through, for one reason or another, seems very important to my subconscious, and for a second a great deal of connecting and incorporating of information goes on in there, much in the way it does during REM sleep (hence the feeling that it was something that had been dreamed at an earlier date; for if I am awake, and I feel like I'm dreaming, then it must be a memory of a dream, 'cause I'm really not so crazy as to think I'm dreaming when I'm not). So it is clear to me that I am NOT dreaming the future, but that sometimes the present feels like a dream.
The reason this was important, this situation, is because this guy wants to get into a relationship with me, but I know it's an extremly bad idea. However, I'm sure that I'm going to do it anyway: I know this because I've done it before, and I know the signs; also, I know that I'm not yet strong enough to stand up to the psychological complexes that make me want to get into relationships with people that I'm not actually into.
Also, I took a sleeping pill last night (which I actually only do like...very rarely, like every three weeks lately), and sleeping pills interfere with normal REM functioning. Once your brain is free from the sleeping pill effect, the subconscious mind needs to make up for the REM sleep it didn't get. Usually it waits 'till you go back to sleep, and then sends an unusal amount of dreams your way. I guess it just decided to start early in my case. Actually, the last time I got this feeling was after I had quit taking sleeping pills after about 9 months of taking them every night; every day for about a week after I stopped taking them I would get that "I dreamed this before" feeling. That was when I figured out that that feeling was my subconscious mind becoming active again, for I had not had that feeling the whole time I had been taking the pills, and I was like "what's different now? Oh yeah, I stopped taking those pills."
After we both came, and we were lying in bed, talking about this and that, I got the strongest sense of premonition, or as though I had dreamed it before. Have you ever had that feeling before? Where you could swear that the thing you are going through was something you've dreamed before? I used to get it all the time, and nowadays I get it...once every few months. I think that I know what causes it: exceptionally busy activity in the subconscious mind. Whatever I'm going through, for one reason or another, seems very important to my subconscious, and for a second a great deal of connecting and incorporating of information goes on in there, much in the way it does during REM sleep (hence the feeling that it was something that had been dreamed at an earlier date; for if I am awake, and I feel like I'm dreaming, then it must be a memory of a dream, 'cause I'm really not so crazy as to think I'm dreaming when I'm not). So it is clear to me that I am NOT dreaming the future, but that sometimes the present feels like a dream.
The reason this was important, this situation, is because this guy wants to get into a relationship with me, but I know it's an extremly bad idea. However, I'm sure that I'm going to do it anyway: I know this because I've done it before, and I know the signs; also, I know that I'm not yet strong enough to stand up to the psychological complexes that make me want to get into relationships with people that I'm not actually into.
Also, I took a sleeping pill last night (which I actually only do like...very rarely, like every three weeks lately), and sleeping pills interfere with normal REM functioning. Once your brain is free from the sleeping pill effect, the subconscious mind needs to make up for the REM sleep it didn't get. Usually it waits 'till you go back to sleep, and then sends an unusal amount of dreams your way. I guess it just decided to start early in my case. Actually, the last time I got this feeling was after I had quit taking sleeping pills after about 9 months of taking them every night; every day for about a week after I stopped taking them I would get that "I dreamed this before" feeling. That was when I figured out that that feeling was my subconscious mind becoming active again, for I had not had that feeling the whole time I had been taking the pills, and I was like "what's different now? Oh yeah, I stopped taking those pills."
posted by nearfalse | 5:06 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home