[another grey day, but today im really enjoying it.]

another grey day, but today im really enjoying it. I biked down to the river and read for awhile, smoking cigarettes and drinking water. Bah. I'm already lying. I knew I would do that. But how am I supposed to be truthful without exposing myself to ridicule? Yes, i sat by the river and read, but what I was REALLY doing down there was waiting for someone to come by to have sex with me. See, this area down by the river is one of the places here in Columubs, OH, where men go to have annoymous sex with each other. I sat around for a long time, reading a smoking, and no one showed up. It being cold and cloudy, and seeing as OSU's football team was playing their arch-rivals from Michigan, I figured that no one would be venturing out to the woods that day. So, I started to leave, when I looked behind me and saw a man approaching. I sort of stopped and looked around for a minute, not sure what to do, when another guy showed up, following the first. And just after that another. I recognized one of them, this older gentleman who's really clingy and invasive, but the other ones I didn't know. One of them looked like a cop, so I just sat down and waited to see what would happen.

Well, sure enough they all wanted to get it on. It's kind of annoying to try and get it on with more than one guy at a place like that, because everyone has their own ideas about who they want to be with, and who they won't tolerate. The older gentleman will suck all the dick that's offered to him, as long as it's big. Everyone wants to ignore the fat guys, especially the fat guys themselves. As for me, I must make the confession that the only guys I'll turn away on sight are black guys and guys with bad hygene. Even though the first guy that I ever had sex with was black, for some reason they just don't do it for me, and I never enjoy myself with them. Also, if they're going down on me, I feel too much like we're renacting the power dynamic between blacks and whites in america, and i don't feel comfortable with that. On the other hand, if I'm going down on them, then I often feel like they're too rough with me, like they're taking out their anger at white america out on me. I don't really like that either.

Actually, the truth is it's probably just phermones.

Anyway, the guy that looked like a cop, a tall balding guy with red hair, moustache and beard, and hard indigo eyes, eventually joined me and the older gentleman. Eventually a short fat guy with a small dick came over too, but everyone but me just ignored him. He was kind of funny; the older gentleman was sucking my dick when the fat guy came over. The fat guy took out his dick, and I barely had time to stroke it at all before he came. I guess he was really enjoying himself! I found it amusing.

Hmmm....the red-haired guy....he reminded me of this guy that i had sort of a fling with back in Minneapolis. They didn't really look similar, but they had a similar style; sort of a generic masculine look, not masculine like a football player or a suburbanite, but masculine like a coffee shop scholar. Like, such a robust body by genetics, but with more of an intellectual bent. Well, I don't KNOW that he was an intellecual, but instead of the generic sweatpants or jeans that the other guys were wearing, he had on some white docker-style khakis, and a tan trenchcoat. All very cheap and low-class, but to MY eyes very attractive. I want him again, the red-haired guy. I sucked him off 'till he came. He sucked me for awhile too, and it was actually really good, and I thought I was going to cum (which is actually kind of difficult for me) but the annoying old guy kept bugging me! I don't know what it is about that guy! Anyway, before he came, he said to the older guy (not to me) that he was close to cumming. The old guy was like "give it to him, he wants it", and the red-haired guy was like "Oh he does?" And it didn't sound sleazy when he said it. He actually sounded a little doubtful, like for some reason I shouldn't want his cum. And I thought to myself "maybe he has AIDS or something". But on the other hand, his doubtfullness may have been because the old guy said it, and not me. So i made some soft, needy sounds while I sucked him off, to let him know that yes indeed I DID want it.

After he came he said "Thank you", and sounded very sincere. It was the only thing that he said directly to me. It really turned me on that they were talking about me without talking directly to me. I like people to talk during sex, but I have very little to say myself. Also, i felt very objectified by them, and that turned me on as well.

Bah. I was hoping that this blog wouldn't become just a catalogue of my sleazy sexual encounters. But, if that is what I did, then that is what I did.

By the way, the thing that i was lying about at the begining wasn't the fact that I was down there to have sex, but the fact that i wasn't just smoking and drinking water, I was also eating some fig newtons. For some reason I'm feeling ashamed to write that, and it caused me great emotional pain when I typed it. isn't that bizarre? Even reading it over again just now causes me pain, though not as bad as at first.